GO DOUCHE YOURSELF. OR HOW TO GET FREE FAST FOOD WITH OUT TRYING........ 11-4-04
welcome again to the life of PARTY DUDE OTTAWA. Let's get right to it. In F+cked up movie news, Mike Meyers has decided to bow out of the hit Austin Powers series Ashton Kutcher has stepped in to play his lost son Awesome Powers (also the new title), also look for Lindsey Lohan, or Hillary Duff (my choice) with a role in the film. Not sure about Mini Me. But he will probably be axed as well with a CGI little person replacing him. What's left for mini me? Porn? a Freaks remake? suicide? Drug overdose?
If you haven't checked out the Lost Boys special edition yet, what are you waiting for? See what the two Corey's look like now. Keep the box of tissues close to wipe the tears away. Hollywood this team is not dead, please reunite the super star team....
Be sure to hit up the Mountain Dew Baja something @ Taco Bell. It taste like a limeade of some sort, it's good. "I want a #2 or what was a #10 bitch".
Have you seen the new anti John Kerry ads? It's a photo of J.K. and it says "would you vote for this douchebag?"
Is it just me or does Kerry look like the crazy doctor from Re-Animator who gets his head cut off. Do we want a zombie army in congress?
Have you been watching the NEWLYWEDS W/ Nick & Jessica? Man that friend of Jessica needs her own show/ or should be in porn she's freakin' hot.
Pick up HAPPY DAYS season one on DVD, Good stuff. Before Henry Winkler sucked Gary Marshall's cock to be the main star of the show. When the Fonz was the star the show turned to poo. Let's jump a motor cycle over a chicken stand then go to a dude ranch and hire Scott Baio. By the way the dude "Buddy" Willly Ames from Charles in Charge. Lives in K.C. and does a religious show called "Bible Man". The dude went from doing drugs and hangin' at the Playboy mansion to God in the Heartland.
"Some Kinda Monster" what the fuck I thought this was the life story of Bela Lugosi. I didn't realize it wasn't until Hetfield started crying about being to rich to shop at Caseys General store. Fuck if I was that rich I would lay on my ass and watch 21 Jump street all f+ckin day long. Till I puked or passed out from huffing gold paint and eating crazy amounts of slim jims, covered in frosting and paint thinner.
It's national grow a moustache week. Grow a stash, cut off your sleeves, and be proud.
The assault weapon ban expired thanks to all the zombie movies in the theaters, + the war on terror! It's time to load up on guns, gas masks, midget porn, and corn nuts?
Have you ever looked in the mirror and saw yourself as creature that was on season five of the X-files? NO? yeah me neither. Have you ever sharpened a number 2 pencil and stabbed a voodoo doll that looked like your high school math teacher that had bad pit stains and always chewed on a tooth pick?
I n some more Hollywood bull sh+t, as far as Blank Vs. Blank. Here is a few more that are rumored to happen.
ROBOCOP VS. GREMLINS
HITLER VS. JIM CAREY
ALF VS. CHUCK E. CHEESE
GARY COLEMAN VS. SWAMP THING
ASH VS. FREDDY VS. JASON
DANZIG VS. THE SMURFS
CITY OF APES VS. CITY FULL O' ZOMBIES
FONZIE VS. LEATHERFACE
REMEBER KIDS WATCH FUCKED UP MOVIES ALL THE TIME, EAT DOUBLE CHEESE BURGERS, AND DRINK PABST BLUE RIBBON.
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I was shopping at my local W.M. and they had a box of Hillary Duff posters, Someone drew a moustache on the Hillary Posters on the display fuck+n priceless,
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