HELD HOSTAGE BY THE OLSEN TWINS The Second Time (or shit to read that won't effect the outcome of your day, take #1.) SERIOUSLY THE INTERNET IS BIG FUCKING WASTE OF EVERY ONES TIME.

What you got something better to do?

I thought it was time I actually got off my lazy ass, put the pbr down and wrote a fucking column so here goes. Welcome to the web site that should have been up years ago. What can I say it's not like we make any money by doing the zine or website so whatever. If your in a band Mike has interviewed and are asking "when is this ass hole gonna type this thing?" please direct any comments to his e-mail (do it, tell him him sucks), I hate typing interviews especially since I don't usually ask that many questions.

A couple months ago @ A Perfect Circle (not the best band ever, but they have some good songs) concert. I look around the auditorium at the crowd, I'm seeing a pretty bleak future. Brain dead pot head kids with cell phones. If this is Americas future, (dramatic pause) were fucked. Maybe the kids we should really be worried about were at the Clay Akin concert that was across town this same night. American Idol is one thing that is wrong with the country we live in. I have to commend KC for doing a good job of not letting underage kids drink at this show (APC that is), wait they did a crappy job or this there really young looking twenty one year olds these days?

We made it back safely from two recent out of state rock n roll road trips. Chicago Blackout was crazy as usual with some great bands this year. Two bands you really need to watch out for is the Catholic Boys & Clorox Girls. Many thanks go out to Horizontal Action for setting up another great weekend of drunken rock n' or and roll. The after party at B.C. apartment the first night was fun. Some of the bars in Chicago don't close until 5am. I got to see George A. Romero director of Dawn of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead, Day of the Dead, to name a few. At the Movieside film festival, we could only attend the last night since the rock mayhem took priority the previous nights. I have a great deal of respect for mr. Romero, as his films are some of my favorite all time films. He has changed the face of movie making for the better. A great honor to just be in the same movie theater as him.

Also three nights in Minneapolis, Catheters, Briefs, Marked Men, The Riverboat Gamblers, Killawatts, Functional Blackouts, Tyrades, and more. I've spent too much time in the ford explorer this month and spent probably close to $400 on beer and another $300 on gas, not to mention hotel rooms and fast food over the last month. $0 on hookers and drugs!!

Every time I go somewhere I see someone wearing a West coast choppers t-shirt. I sure hope this is a midwest thing and not nationwide, but i fear the later. Hot weather is here again and besides the choppers shirts here in Ottawa I get to look forward to seeing some white trash guys walking down main street with their shirt off every time I go out. One of the many joys of living in a small town.

House of 1000 Corpses 2 (the devils rejects) is shaping up to be one hell of a movie. With the casting of Ken Foree (black swat dude from the real Dawn of the Dead) playing Captain spauldings pimp brother. P.J. Soles and Michael Berryman also in the cast. All we need is Clint Howard or Timmy Vulgar. Resident Evil 2 is coming out in September Hopefully more zombies this time out. I still think the first one was good even though I have heard a lot of people say they didn't like it.

Is it wrong to watch Nekromantik 2 and Ski Party in the same week? Frankie Avalon dressed as girl to hang out with the chicks he wants to score with. Nekro 2 some more corpse loving action, no where as good as the first one. Maybe not wrong Avalon in drag and corpse loving'.

Lately I've been watching the Universal monsters box set. 13 films Dracula, Frankenstein, Wolf man, with a few films from each and some good documentaries on the films. Van Helsing don't look that great I'm not a big CGI fan. I would rather see a guy in a rubber mask any day.

I haven't bought much music lately. Luckily I have a brother who buys an average of three disc per week so I get to hear new stuff all the time.

Be on the look out for new albums by Tiger Army, the Burning Brides, The Briefs, Murder City Devils DVD of final show....

"I'm gonna eat your fucking brain", a zombie film, RETURN OF THE PUNK DEAD by Jeff Fungus, (hot girls send in your head shots and measurements, in pre-production)

WE need some feedback let us know what you think. I see the site growing into something better. We will continue to cover the bands and movies that are making the real impact on tomorrows society.

BANDS THAT ARE STUCK IN MY HEAD....

MARKED MEN- ON THE OUTSIDE (Rip Off)

FUNCTIONAL BLACKOUTS (Criminal IQ)

CTHOLIC BOYS- "Get Loose"

KILLED BY DEATH comps (#1, #2, #3)

THE BRONX- (White drugs/Ferret)

HORROR POPS- HELL YEAH! (Hell Cat)

DVD'S I'VE BEEN WATCHING

DRACULA-

STEVE-O "OUT ON BAIL" the best of the three that are out.

ILSA BOX SET - I've only seen She Wolf of the SS, but this set cost as much as I paid for that dvd years ago, $23 for 3 sleaze films.

MUNCHIES The cheap New Concorde version of gremlins.

PLUS A STACK OF DISC I HAVEN'T BROKE THE SHRINK WRAP ON YET....