MELVINS

Interviews like this are better in person. On paper you don’t get the full effect. Buzz and Mark seem like they feed off of each other’s comments, each one trying to out do the other one. While Dale sits back and enjoys the show. This interview makes me laugh every time I read it. Don’t take all of their comments seriously because they were done in a joking manor. Interview by Mike (FB) and Jeff (FB2) Watts. AUGUST 10, 1996.

Mark: So what’s your first question hippie?
Buzz: Hey hippie. Our long haired friend’s here with this magazine.
FB: Speaking of hippies I saw a picture of you (Mark) with some quite long hair.
Mark: It was a girl.
Buzz: Hideous propaganda.
Buzz: That was back in the day when he dressed in drag.
Dale: That was a wig.
FB: I just got seven inches cut off my hair.
Buzz: What you got military length
FB: I’ve got short hair.
Mark: Next you’ll be telling us your the seventh son of the seventh son Mr. seven inches. Don’t give me any of that numerological horse shit.
FB: I took one of your records in and said “Cut this much off”.
Mark: And the guy just started shaving.
Buzz: If you cut yours in to a hawk you would be the king of the slam pit.
Mark: You'd be the statue of liberty. You’d be the little red rooster. The king of the barn yard.
Dale: We got Mark in the band because of hair and chew.
FB: The thing with those people with mohawks they spend three hours at home getting it stood up and they come to a show and after the first
five minutes it’s knocked down.
Mark: It’s a full time job, having a hawk.
Buzz: No wonder they can’t have real jobs, they are spending too much time worrying about their hair.
Dale: That just means they haven’t used enough super glue.
Mark: If they’d just use a little resin on it they would lacer that baby right into place and would be razor sharp.
Buzz: Anybody that has a mohawk is a pussy. (Laughter)
Mark: Basically any body that has a mowhawk takes it up the ass.
FB: You know how those interviews have the big quotes. That is the big quote.
Mark: “Anybody that has a mowhawk takes it up the ass”. That’s the one.
Buzz: Any body that has a mowhak or whoever had a mowhawk is a faggot.
FB: How much more of the population of Lawrence do you want to offend.
Buzz: We’re sick of the people who wear sandals.
FB: So am I, I am sick of that.
Dale: There is only one other more offensive kind of shoe...
Buzz: The only person that is allowed wear sandals, and that is Jesus Christ.
Mark: We’ll cut him some slack because two-thousand years ago they didn’t have cowboy boots.
Dale: And Kurt Douglas.
Buzz: He wore sandals and look what happened to him.
Mark: Crucified at the gates of Rome.
Buzz: That’s right. Spartucaus wore sandals, look what happened to him. Now what’s more offensive than sandals. Clogs, bare feet.
Dale: Clogs.
Mark: Clogs are bad but at least they cover the toe.
Buzz: Thongs.
Mark: Berkinestocks..
FB: Anything where the feet are visible.
Dale: Clogs are OK on girls but on guys, when guys wear the clogs that’s just plain dumb.
Mark: There’s one guy that’s allowed to wear clogs.
Dale: No their is not. Who?
Mark: Yes there is, Brian May. What kind of a band is he in? A band called Queen.
Buzz: What about somebody that’s doing the clog dance?
Mark: That’s different then.
Buzz: That’s a act.
Mark: That’s right.
Buzz: We don’t like clogs either. We don’t like flip flops, we don’t like people that wear , sandals.
FB: Spandex.
Mark: Spandex is OK. We don’t have a problem with that.
Buzz: That’s rock.
FB: If it’s David Lee Roth it’s OK.
Buzz & Mark together: NO!
Mark: I would only want to see David Lee Roth if he was buried under a big sack of potatoes. Dressed in gunny sack, that’s how I want to see him.
Buzz: Another thing we don’t like about Lawrence is this whole college.
Mark: So what’s going on here exactly.
Buzz: I don’t have anything against college itself. I just don’t like the people that go to college
FB: That’s true.
Mark: Basically they are all a bunch of sandal wearing creeps.
Buzz: Moronic creeps, wasting their parent’s money.
Mark: Sandal wearing weirdo’s.
FB: He’s going to college this year.
Buzz: Really, What are you studying?
FB2: Graphic design.
Buzz: What do you have in mind?
Mark: Learning how to play Hang man is that what that means.
FB: Pac-Man.
Buzz: Hang man, that’s right that’s graphic design. What do you have in mind.
Dale: Do album covers man.
FB: He’s going to design bootleg Melvins CD covers.
FB2: I’m going to work at Spin.
Buzz: He’s going to work at Spin. (Laughter)
Mark: Good answer, good answer. And then hopefully work your way up to Penthouse because it’s all the same company.
Buzz: Gosh the people at Spin didn’t like our record. Gee, I wonder why.
Mark: I guess we’ll have to terminate the interview because we’re just all choked up about it.
Buzz: I would have thought a magazine that has such insight to the music scene would love a band like us.
Mark: Well they’ve got such high standards down there at Spin. When they’re not putting a negro on the cover it’s either a jew or a mexican.
Buzz The best thing about it is they take a band like Kiss. Who they hated. Kiss has been putting records out all this time now that they are selling out all these stadiums you know, and big huge places they figure they could sell a few copies so they put them on the cover.
FB: And four different ones at that.
Dale: And four different ones.
Buzz: When’s the last time they reviewed one of their albums. When’s the last time they had a band like Kiss on the cover of their magazine. Never.
They are too busy putting stupid bands like the Smashing Pumpkins on the cover.
Mark: Did they review the album before it? No, Did they review the album Live 3, No.
Buzz: All they do is make fun of bands like that. We only put cutting edge bands on the cover of our magazine.
FB: I saw that article in their and all it talked about was the problems they have had in the past.
Mark: All that is, is one giant boot lick sesionon.
Buzz: (In a crazy voice) The largest tour of the summer we should put them on the cover. Dahh!!!
Mark: (A voice similar to Buzz’s) Please stay on our side...
Buzz: (Crazy voice continues)They are selling a lot of tickets. And we are stupid morons.
Mark: If we put you on the cover will you give us a back stage pass to Madison Square Gaeden?
Buzz: I guarantee you if that tour was totally failing. If they weren't selling ticket one. They would have never put them on the cover of the magazine.
Mark: Of Course they'd write a big expose “Kiss what happened?”
Buzz: “Kiss”, “Kiss”
Mark: The demise of ‘70’s phenomena.
Buzz: They wouldn’t even do that because they wouldn’t sell any copies. If we had sold a million of our last record. They would have their tongues
so far up our asses, you know. That we wouldn't even be able to believe it. It would just be amazing. All the magazines like that were not interested in a band unless they sell a million records.
Mark: Basically I'm glad that god damn commie, yuppie, horse shit rag doesn't like us.
Buzz: You think that they would have the sense down their the millionaires that they are selling a gillion copies then go you know what. We like
this band were all in agreement, they haven’t sold a lot of records but let’s put them on the cover. We think this is good music.
Mark: They’re too busy giving Smashing Pumpkins a twelve.
Buzz: Billy, Billy, (kissing sound) we want to cover you in vaseline and put you on the front of our magazine. (more kissing sounds)
Mark: They’ve got their tongue so far out of their mouth it’s a separate entity.
Buzz: He could probably go in their and take a shit on that guys desk and they’d still put him on the cover of the magazine.
Mark: Absolutely, yeah.
Buzz: Well what ever Mr. Corgan wants because he sells copies.
Mark: Whatever Uncle Fester wants.
Buzz: Jesus Christ, what he should start doing is stuff like that. “We won’t allow you to put us on the cover unless I can take a shit on Bob
Guccione’s desk”. You know. OK what time? Let’s set it up Mr. Corgan have your manager call our agent.
Mark: “And what time will Mr. Corgan be defecating on the desk”? “Well I think he’s free between four and five”.
Buzz: “Make sure he doesn't eat any beans the night before”.
Mark: “Do you guys think he can get a couple of cups of nice strong coffee before he comes up. What do you say?”
Buzz: “Make sure he gets the job done”.
Mark: “Oh well have a expresso machine in the office for him”.
Buzz: “And if he needs a champagne enema. We’ll be happy to help out”.
Mark: “And we’ll have big salad standing by just In case he needs a little ruffage to stimulate”. (Laughter)
Dale: So What else do you want to know?
Mark: Next question, hippie.
FB2: Tells us about your opening dates on the Kiss tour.
Buzz: They were good, they were great. Despite all this stuff that is happening to Kiss with all this boot licking moronic magazines cashing in on their success. With no help from those magazines at all. I would like to say that Spin magazine had absolutely nothing to do with them selling any tickets for this tour. Rolling Stone nothing, can’t cant take any credit.
Mark: Kiss did it by themselves.
Buzz: They never helped that band one bit.
Mark: As they have always done.
Buzz: Despite all of that Kiss were the nicest guys. They were totally cool band to open for.
Mark: That’s exactly the way we are going to have to do it to. Buy ourselves, just like Kiss.
Buzz: And that’s fine.
FB: Wasn’t their a little tension between you guys when you wanted to be on the tribute album.
Mark: Of course not.
Buzz: Hog wash, bale who. We understand that completely.
Mark: Record company propaganda. Every body and their dog wanted to be on that.
Buzz: I got Gene on the phone and I really let him have it.
Mark: Gene got convienced by all those people they just talked him into it.
Dale: It’s not like we never heard form him. Gene called my house he’s like “Hey I just got your tape, it’s pretty cool. The problem I have is that
their is about forty other bands that want to be on this. So I don’t know if your going to be on it”.
Mark: That’s OK because Gene comes down and plays with us.
Dale: He calls up again and says “I’ll come down and play with you guys”.
Mark: He didn’t go and play with all those other bands. He came and played with us.
FB: Weren’t you guys on that on that was on C/Z a long time ago?
Buzz: Yeah but that had nothing to do with Kiss. Then when it’s time for Kiss’s big reunion tour he calls us up. Five dates, they could of had any one they want, you know. How would you boys like to do some shows with us. Come down play, we’ll give you full use of the PA. and what ever you want. Complete gentlemen to us, not only them but also their crew.
Dale: And they even worked it around our schedule.
Buzz: That’s right.
Dale: Well give five shows right before they started.
Buzz: How would you guys like to do that. As opposed to “Were going to do you the biggest favor in the world and then were going to fuck you over”.
Mark: “Yeah how would you like to come on our tour. But you’ve got to do this and that. “You’ve got to get dressed out side the venue, were
not gonna pay you any fucking money. You can use half the PA, and then you can go fuck yourself.
Well how do you like that boys”? Well OK.
Buzz: It was nothing like that. The biggest bands we’ve ever played with like Nine Inch Nails, Kiss, Rush were the coolest bands. The nicest bands you would ever want to play with, you know. The bands we have the most problems with are these tiny little fuck off bands. Who have the biggest attitudes in the world.
Mark: Like White Zombie.
Buzz: For instance White Zombie and their crew. A select few members of their crew. There's one guy named Wookie. Who I really hate. That guy’s a maggot like human being a complete maggot..
Mark: But basically it’s a shit pile all the way from the top.
Buzz: Let me put it this way if somebody like that was working on the Kiss tour he’d had his ass fired a long time ago.
Kark: He’d be standing on the corner pan handling for a Greyhound bus ticket.
Buzz: He is so small time that he’s acting the way he thinks all these big guys act and that is a total fantasy world that he is in. Nobody that really maters that works for bands that big does that shit. It doesn't happen you know.
FB: I’ve got a rock star story for you. A couple of days ago we were at a amusement park in Kansas City, Worlds of fun. Waiting in a long line
for a roller coaster (The Timber Wolf) and up the back way comes a security guard with Lenny Kravitz and let him get right on the ride.
Mark: Jimmy Krabits you mean. And let him get right on the ride.
FB: That’s right everybody else is waiting.
Mark: We’ll I guess it’s a long time since the nigger had to sit in the back of the bus.
Buzz: Times are changing. Just pay back.
Mark: Pay back that’s right.
Buzz: You’ve got to go to the head of the line long enough son. You just sit their...
Buzz: and let our african brothers have the front seat for a while.
FB: The funny thing is nobody new who the hell he was.
Buzz: (laughs)
Mark: What’d they do, just go “What’s that smell”?
Buzz: We heard he really reeked, had a really bad body odder.
FB: I don’t know. I wasn’t close enough to tell.
Mark: Their is nothing worse than somebody that doesn't pay attention to bodily cleanliness. You know what they say cleanliness is next to
godliness
Buzz: That’s right. You know who told us that. Raging Slab they toured with him so they should know. They said he smelled real bad all the time.
Mark: That’s OK though because he is a musical genius.
Buzz: After all nobody's ever done anything like Lenny Kravitiz.
Mark: I bet both Beethoven and Einstein had incredible reeks about their person.
Dale: They truly smelled like pigs.
Buzz: Worse then pigs. That’s a sign of genius actually. That’s why we don’t smell.
Mark: Everybody knows that Steven Hawking smells worse then a dead head.
Buzz: He can’t bathe himself. But at least he has a excuse. Lennys got all four of his appendages working just fine. Still can’t bathe.
Mark: A part from the one that really matters, the brain.
FB: OK let’s go back to opening for Kiss.
Mark: Jimmi Krabitz. He thinks he's Jimmi Hindrix.
Buzz: First off, Start with that.
Mark: He’s dressing like he’s from 1967. “But it’s all my own trip man I never got influenced by anybody”. And then he’s got dread locks. So what is that he thinks he’s Bob Marley?
Buzz: He’s Jamaican now.
Mark: Oops I mentioned the two of them in the same sentence.
Buzz: Hideous, hideous.
Mark: I shouldn’t have done that sorry Bob.
Mark: Once he dies he’ll have more in common with Hindrix then he does now.
Dale: So what to you want to know about Kiss?
FB: I’m sure at those shows the majority of the people are really there to see Kiss...
Buzz: No, are you kidding. They were there too see us. What do you mean?
FB: What was there reaction to the Melvins? Were they supportive, or were they like “get the hell off the stage”.
Buzz: No, they were too old to do anything like that.
FB: I forgot about that part.
Buzz: At rock concerts like that it’s never thirty year olds throwing around M-80’s and acting radical. Actually they got that out of their system a
long time ago.
Dale: I thought there was a lot of people there buy the time we played. They opened the doors on time.
Buzz: Because they know how to run a show.
Dale: Right, but actually we did OK there was people that liked us and I know at least one of the shows with all the merchandise Kiss has any thing you can think of. I think like ten different t-shirts, phone cards...
Buzz: They had a needle exchange set up in the back.
Dale: They probably had about forty different things you could buy. And we ended up selling twenty t-shirts at one of the gigs. There was only
t-shirts of ours at one both, so. Actually we did OK.
Buzz: In other words they out sold us by about a million dollars that night.
Dale: A friend of ours went to some of the other shows with different opening bands and said none of them got nearly as good a response as we did.
Buzz: In fact one of the opening bands got busted scalping tickets.
Dale: So we’ve heard.
Buzz: That’s really good, I hope they got a good beating for it.
Mark: Maybe we should mention who just so everybody knows.
Dale: They don’t deserve recognition.
Mark: Let them rot in hell. They know who they are that’s enough. Gene knows who they are.
Dale: So that was good the whole Kiss thing went completely cool.
FB: So you guys just finished playing some dates on Lollapalooza (96) right.
Mark: Hippypollaza you mean. that goddamn, the goddamn..
Dale: I couldn’t figure that one out it’s like a alternative festival where they sold all this hippy stuff.
Buzz: What it was, get stoned and rock the vote.
Mark: Basically what it is, is the monsters of alternative rock festival.
Buzz: It’s like legalize marijuana and vote for your favorite politician, what could be more moronic then that. That's what we need more stoned
people, politicians like those stoned kids.
Mark: More stoners voting
Buzz: Please, kids that can’t even pick a good band voting.
Mark: Get high, get an abortion, and vote
Buzz: Get high, get an abortion, and vote.
FB: That’s why I don’t understand why MTV is trying to get people to vote.
Buzz: Yeah, they want people listening to Stone Temple Pilots picking politicians. Good idea. Cool! I’ll vote. “I’ll vote, who am I going to vote for man”. (in a stoner voice)
Mark: Those are the same people that would vote Hitler into office if he was running.
Buzz: They have.
Mark: He’s got a good speech, you know.
Buzz: He’s cool.
Dale: Why encourage people to vote. Considering most of them aren’t old enough to vote that watch MTV.
Buzz: Rock the vote!
Mark: Why don’t we get fourteen year old stoners with pierced heads voting.
FB: That’s a scary thought. MTV could have the singer of Stone Temple Pilots run for president and he would probably get elected.
Buzz: No fortunately he would not get elected. He can’t get it together to stay out of jail. Let alone run for office.
Mark: The CIA would bump him off in a second. They’d send the navy seals down to his swimming pool and just end up floating like Brian Jones. He wanders around his garden reading Whinnie the Pooh books. “This morning Scott Weiland was found murdered, the authorities note a history of drug problems. The police have no leads. This apparently motive less killing. Has brought tears of ...
Buzz: The tragic death of a drugged out rock star.
Mark: “A candle light vigil will be held in Malibu Sunday”.
Buzz: At the Hollywood methadone clinic. Their laying down wreathes at the dome clinic in Hollywood it’s great.
Mark: “A ex-girlfriend of the singer reportedly said all he tried to do was give, give, give”.
Buzz: That’s right.
FB: So I take it Devo were on some of those dates.
Buzz: They were,
Dale: They were great.
Buzz: They were Devo. You don’t see them walking around with needles hanging out of their arms I’ll tell you that.
Dale: They were my favorite band on that tour. They were really good.
FB: I’d like to see them.
Buzz: It was nice to see them.
Dale: Their going to be like a full time band again.
Mark: My favorite band was Cracktallica. (laughter)
Buzz: Cracktallica. I’m surprised they even came off the bus
Mark: Bus?
Dale: They flew those guys into those gigs.
Mark: There was a lot of “I’m not coming out of the jet unless you get me another kilo”.
Buzz: Metallica, always playing on stage when they are not free basing.
Dale: Well a couple of them.
Buzz: No all of them. They are all cocaine addicts.
FB2: Does that explain the hair cuts?
Buzz: I don’t know how to explain it.
Mark: What my theory is, is that they got a good deal on them from one guy. “Well if you two boys get a hair cut we’ll do the other two for free”.
Buzz: That’s right. No, no We decided all these bands want to look like dartanua now, that’s what it is.
FB: They’re trying to be alternative now.
Buzz: Alternative to what?
FB: They are taking it a little too seriously now.
Mark: They are alternative. They are trying to be alternative to the cool band they used to be is that what it is?
Buzz: The guys from Metallica who would actually talk to us which would be the bass player. To me any way. He was cool, totally cool. You Know. I have nothing bad to say about them but it’s obvious he is not the boss of the band.
Mark: He’s a small whipped pup.
Buzz: He doesn't have much to say and rightly so I’d say.
Dale: He joined a little but late.
Buzz: Everything was already set up.
Mark: He joined late even though he’s been in the band twice as long as the deceased bass player. He’ll always be the new guy no matter how long he’s in the band.
FB: I saw something on TV that said they actually let him write some parts this time.
Buzz: Well gee, that only took ten years.
Mark: They have the potential to be a great band, the potential is there.
Dale: He’s good, that guy can actually play. I’ve played with him he’s pretty good.
FB2: What do you think about Gene Simmons acting career?
Mark: More power to him. Gene is a renascence man.
Buzz: Gene should’ve continued doing that.
Dale: I don’t think I've seen any of the movies he’s done.
Buzz: I saw Run Away.
Dale: You know what I did see Phantom of The Park.
Buzz: He was acting in that, that was great.
Mark: As a matter of fact the guy was director of photography on our video “Bar X”, was also the director of photography on Kiss meets Phantom of The Park.
Buzz: Our video which MTV won’t ever play except if it’s on some midnight show.
Mark: Which doesn't matter.
Buzz: If they play it on their at all. Were not gonna get any help from any of these people.
FB: So what’s the deal with the live seven inches book thing that came out?
Buzz: That’s the deal.
FB: OK, give us some more information.
Buzz: Live, and seven inches.
Dale: Recorded at various shows last Year. On our opening for White Zombie.
Buzz: Do you have it?
FB: No I saw it once and they were charging forty bucks for it.
Buzz: Fifty bucks.
Dale: It’s pretty expensive.
Buzz: But there’s only a thousand though. The thing about it is before they even put seven inches in it the thing cost seventeen bucks so it’s an expensive thing. So that was just for the packaging so once you put the 7”’s in your like a few more dollars and then you add in the cost of shipping, and you add in the pressing cost. And all that kind of stuff and your looking at like it costing twenty-five bucks just to break even. That’s if the store doesn't make a dime on it. On top of that you have to add in the distributing cost, you know. Which they are going to take a couple bucks just to send it out. The record company have to pay to send it to the distributor. The the store's are obviously in the business to sell it they are going to tack on at least 10%. Or it’s not even worth putting it on the shelf you know. So your talking well over thirty bucks right there, and there’s only a thousand of them so that adds in the collectable thing and that’s going to add on another 10%..
Mark: We just did it for kicks.
Buzz: We didn’t make dime one.
FB: Who came up with the idea to release a 7” each month this year on AmRep? Are you supposed to compile them all on one CD at the end of the year?
Mark: No.
Buzz: Nope, it will never happen. [It’s supposed to come out on 2 CD’s also available from AmRep, because someone made a bootleg of it.]
FB: How many of those did you make?
Buzz: 800.
FB: I’ve never seen any of them.
Mark: You probably won’t either.
Dale: Every body bitched too much about that “Prick” record. We said if we ever do anything weird again we’ll keep it limited. Everybody’s going how do we get those.
Buzz: Now they’re bitching because it is limited.
FB: I thought “Prick” was all right.
Buzz: Well thank you. We thought it was all right too.
FB: Plus I got it free.
Mark: That figures. If you had to pay eight bucks would you be pissed off?
FB: He (FB2) paid for it? What do you think of it?
Mark: Are you pissed?
FB2: No, it’s OK.
Buzz: Sucker.
Dale: He says it’s OK.
FB2: But you guys are rock stars.
Buzz: Shut up.
Dale: He could’ve just taken it and gone and sold it, I’m sure.
Mark: You wouldn’t be able to sell that shit. Nobody would buy it.
Dale: There’s CD stores that will take it.
FB: He was reading something on the internet about you guys last night that said you guys tour in a car. Because you don’t like sleeping in a
van.?
Mark: No we tour in a small van because busses are for fags.
Buzz: Don’t like sleeping in vans. That’s wrong.
Dale: That’s wrong.
FB: That just goes to show what they put on there.
Mark: The real thing we don’t tour in busses is because busses are for fags.
Dale: That’s all wrong I was talking to the bass player for Metallica and he’s like “What are you guy’s touring in”? I’m like that car right there because busses are for pussies. He goes “We got a bus”.
Mark: You go well.
Buzz: Enough said.
Mark: Well there you go.
Buzz: Case closed. I rest my case.
Mark: Let’s just put it this way on the Lollapalooza tour we were about the only band that didn’t have a bus.
Buzz: Bands who’d never put out records had busses.
Dale: Yeah, there are bands that are smaller than us touring on busses.
Mark: And they’re fags.
Dale: It just means your spending your own money. If you want to go into debt and never make any money go ahead.
Mark: And if you want to be queer.
Dale: We’ve pretty much toured in vans the whole career of the band. So.
Mark: We were gay for one tour.
Dale: We were gay for one tour. Then we decided we didn’t want to spend $80,000 on a bus ever again.
Mark: We decided we didn’t want to be gay any more.
Buzz: If we were Metallica we could travel where ever we want to go. It’s immaterial.
Mark: I think if we were Metallica we’d each have three cadilacs with a personal driver in each car. And then they’d just be racing from state to state.
Dale: We would have a buss each and they’d be driving Cadillacs behind us.
Buzz: We’d have a bus so we could crash on and we’d all have Cadillacs. And we’d also have these big trailers to haul the Cadillacs in when we didn’t feel like driving.. And we’d have mechanics taking care of those fucking Cadillacs too you better believe.
Dale: And we’d be nice guys and even let our sound man have his Hemi.
Buzz: That’s right he’d have a Dodge Charger he’d be driving in.
Mark: Our tour would be like a giant version of Canon Ball Run.
Buzz: We wouldn’t have any of this bull shit secret keyboard player O.D.’s crap going on in our band.
Mark: We’d have the keyboard player O.D. right on stage.
Dale: We’d demand he O.D.
Buzz: That’s right, right on stage. None of this hide behind the curtain, shoot up junkie.
Mark: We want him O.D.ing right in the public eye.
Dale: That’s right.
Buzz: That’s right.
FB2: Would you say you put bowls of fruit and things like that on your covers to steer the metal crowd away?
Buzz: Why did the metal head cross the road? Because he’s a gullible moron that will buy anything with skulls on it.
Mark: We put bowls of fruit on the cover to attract them, because monkey’s like to eat fruit.
Buzz: If somebody is stupid enough to judge a album by what’s on the cover. I don’t have anything to say about it. That’s it, “well I didn’t like the cover so I didn’t buy it”. “Well no look at it’s stupid, fuck it”.
Mark: How about a big bowl full of skulls.
Dale: I think our name alone kind of distracts them any way.
Mark: I don’t give a shit. They are distracted by a fucking common house fly.
Dale: No they’re distracted mostly because they’ve got a big four foot bong sitting in front of them.
Buzz: I’ve never met a hesher who didn’t get stoned.
Dale: Except for him.
Buzz: He’s not a hesser he’s got a Steel Pole Bath Tub shirt on.
Buzz: Your both wearing shorts and this is work. You know what we think about shorts. They suggest a casual attitude towards work. That you
guys are casual about your job. Mark: The next time you show up to do a goddamn interview with us get some long pants on Oliver Twist.
FB: I pulled my twelve hour shift I’m done for the day.
Buzz: You’re working right now. This is your real job.
FB: This is my second job.
Buzz: No, it’s your real job.
FB2: Buzz on your solo album was Dale Nixon a fake name for Dave Grohl?
Buzz: Yes. ±
Look for part 2 of the melvins next issue, Where we discuss the trilogy of relases on Ipecac records, as well as the new bass player Kevin..